I hate my life
by LittleFlowerLei
Summary: Amarante and Kagami have had horrible lives. When Amarante is pushed over the edge, what will happen? ZukoOC Chapter 3 up.
1. Chapter 1

_**Chapter 1**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own avatar. I really don't. Seriously. Or do I? (Dr.Evil finger thing) no. No I don't. **_

Amarante has had it hard her entire life. Her parents, they wern't in love, their marriage was arranged. The only person she could ever depend on for emotional support; was her little five year old sister, Kagami. They only had each other to depend on, their family was falling apart, and they knew that each other was all they had. Untill It was announced that Amarante will marry the son of another earth kingdom family. She and the man had gotten to know each other; and Amarante loved him. Sadly; she was the last thing in his heart. He loved another girl, but never dared tell her. Kagami was the flower girl for their wedding. Amarante stood in her room before the mirror, her brides maids getting her ready.Her wedding dress was tight around her chest; but poofy at the bottom. Kagami came in to tell her the wedding was about to start; Amarante nodded and followed her sister out. The church was filled with many people, some on the groom's side, some on the bride's side. Kagami threw flowers on the floor as she walked, and Amarante, walked close behind, her veil covering her eyes. She stopped in her tracks, the groom was getting married to another girl right at_ their _wedding!She took her veil off, threw it down and ran out. Tears streaming down her face, and a horrible, stabbing pain in her heart.The sky was gray, and it had begun to pour down rain.Kagami followed her, into the forest where she fell to her knees crying; she was so hurt, she may seem to be over reacting, but seeing your future husband getting married to someone else at your wedding isn't a pleasant sight.Kagami held her sister as she cried, and as the muddy ground ruined her perfect wedding dress.

"Miss? What seems to be the problem?" They looked up from their sorrows and saw Iroh with Zuko on his Komodo Rhino behind him. "I see your wearing a wedding dress. Why aren't you..?" Amarante cried again, beating on the liquid mud.

"He never, ever loved me!" She screamed as she beat on the mud. Kagami had to explain.

"She saw her fiance marrying another girl at her wedding." Even Zuko felt bad, but didn't show it. Amarante's dress was stained with mud, and ripped from the branches that it got caught on.

"That's horrible." Iroh told her sympathetically. "Miss. Please come with us to the ship. You can get a hot bath and a change of clothes there."

"C'mon Amarante." Kagami told her softly. "Forget him. This nice man is offering us a place to go."

"Fine." Zuko helped her and her sister climb aboard his Rhyno, Iroh getting on as well. Amarante kept crying; it felt like it wouldn't stop. The pain was too intense for her. Kagami was there and sitting with her, telling her that things can only get better. They got back to the ship; and Amarante went to bathe, while her sister talked with the fire benders. Iroh poured her a cup of tea, which she drank great fully.

"She's pretty broken up." Kagami nodded.

"I don't blame her. The marriage was arranged at first; but she grew to love him, but he didn't love her. He never did. Even if she is hurt; I think It's better this way." Iroh nodded. Sipping his tea.

"Things will turn around. Why would your parents engage her to a man they didn't know was a two-timer?"

"They didn't care about her well being. They never have. They probably never will. Ever since before I was born, Amarante has been trying to be strong, telling herself that something will happen and she won't be hurt.When I was born, she played with me more than our own parents. We grew to depend on each other more and more, she would tell me that when she could, we would leave our parents' house and never come back. But now I think she's trying to forget all the horrible things she had done to her, every bad thing we had to do." There was silence within the room after she finished explaining.

"What...?" Iroh asked, not sure if he really wanted to know.

"Amarante had to crawl into the space under the house with the rats when she upset our parents, or when they just were. Her arm almost always had scars of where she was bitten-" They looked towards the door; she was wearing a shirt and a pair of pants that were too big.

"I didn't have anything else to wear. So I borrowed some, I hope that's OK." Iroh nodded. They were Zuko's clothes, but Zuko wasn't mad. "Kagami. You can go take a bath now." Her sister nodded; rose to her feet, got some clothes from Zuko's room as well, and went to take a bath. Amarante sat there quietly. Sipping at the tea Iroh had given her. There were many tiny scars down her neck, Zuko saw them clearly. "What has she told you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Kagami, what did she tell you?"

"She explained how unfit your parents were to raise you. How they made you sleep with the rats when they were angry. That's horrible. We insist you stay with us." Amarante shook her head.

"we can't."

"Why not? If you stay with them they'll most likely kill you. Kagami told us you've been in pain all your life, and today probably didn't help any." Amarante, swallowed a choke, knowing it was true, but she wouldn't let herself accept it.

"I'm sure I just misunderstood."

"How could you misunderstand something like that?" Zuko ased, sipping at his tea and then putting it on the table. "The man married another girl right infrount of you. That's something you can't misunderstand." Her eyelids lowered as she staired at her half-full cup of tea and sighed.

"I know..It's easier to think of it that way."

"But you know it isn't true." Zuko protested. "Your making yourself hope for something that you know is wrong."

"Zuko!" Iroh snapped. "Don't put her through more pain-"

"He's right." Amarante told him softly. "I shouldn't make myself hope for something that isn't true.." Tears seeped passed her eyes,but she wiped them away before they got any further than that. "Fine. We'll stay."

* * *

She and Kagami were given a room to stay in, which was dark considering they weren't fire benders and couldn't make the candles any brighter.

"Kagami..I'm going to sleep.." Amarante told her, crawling into bed and blowing out the light. Kagami layed her small head down on the pillow, and closed her eyes, hoping that she and her sister got a good night's sleep.

**

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omg. I know. I started a new one when I haven't finished the other one yet. x.x well, I'll most likely get them both done during Summer Vacation. **


	2. Chapter 2

_**Chapter 2**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own avatar. I really don't. Seriously. Or do I? (Dr.Evil finger thing) no. No I don't. **_

Kagami heard her sister crying in her sleep. This wasn't new for her, but she cried harder now. Kagami got out of bed and crawled into her sister's bed with her. Why was it that she was younger, but she seemed the strongest? Amarante's arms wrapped around her sister; and held on tightly. Crying into her soft black hair.

_Kagami, Amarante, and their mother and father sat together in the living room. Silence filling the room. Her mother mumbled something; which her father hated, he hated when anyone mumbled, because he always thought they were talking about him. He stood up and turned over the coffee table. _

_"What did you say woman?" He boomed at her. The glass from the cups were flying, the food that had been on that table was overturned and smeared into the floor._

_"I told the girls to go to bed." She told him calmly. Amarante picked up her young sister and ran off to their room. She placed Kagami on their cot, her sister looked at her with horrified eyes._

_"It's OK.." She told her sister softly. "It's OK.."_

_"Amarante!" Her head turned quickly to her father; who grabbed her arm and told her to go sleep with the rats. She did as she was told. _

_It was dark under there, dark and cold. It was raining, and she was crying. She saw the beady eyes of the rats that lived under her house; and she heard her mother being beaten. It was only a few seconds before a rat lunged at her and sank it's teeth deep into her skin._

Amarante shot up. Sweating. She looked at her arm and sure enough; there were the scars of all those horrible nights of sleeping under the house. Kagami was gone, and the sun was shining through the window into their room. She quickly got out of bed and walked down the halls. She bumped into Zuko, whom looked like he got up not long ago.

"Uncle told me to tell you it's breakfast." Amarante nodded and followed him to the breakfast room, where she sat next to Kagami and ate her breakfast silently.

"Sleep well?" Iroh asked her kindly. Having a guess that she didn't, but he could be wrong. She nodded, lying to him. Kagami knew that much, but didn't say anything.

"No you didn't." Zuko caught her. "Your room is right across the hall from mine, you were screaming your head off so much that you woke me up."Amarante didn't respond,all she did was sip at her tea, hoping for a subject change.

* * *

Later that afternoon; Zuko was walking back from the bathroom and he saw Amarante in her room, just sitting. Nothing more.

"Hey." He greeted, leaning on the side of the arch that was the door.

"Hey.." She greeted back, but sort of..dully. Like she didn't even care, there were a lot of things she quit caring about.

"Your still bitter?"

"Why not?" She asked him softly. "Yesterday I was suppost to be married. But today I feel like I'm in a tide caught out to sea."

"The sea leads to many places." He told her. "Maybe there is somewhere better for you and Kagami."

"Maybe.."

"And hey." He continued, but why? He didn't even know, he just had so much to tell her. "that guy probably wasn't what you wanted in a husband anyway. If he had the nerve to-"

"OK." He didn't even have to finish. "I get your point." Zuko nodded and left her alone in her room.

* * *

Later,again,like, an hour and a half later, Zuko was looking through his telescope for the avatar. There were no clouds in the sky so a fuzzy white bison with an arrow on it's head _should_ be pretty easy to spot. The door behind him opened to Amarante.Kagami was on deck trying to learn how to play pai-cho, and Iroh was having fun teaching her.

"Um.." Zuko turned around and was slightly surprised to see her. "I was thinking about what you said.."

"And..?"

"I suppose your right."

"Exactly." He began looking through his telescope again. "The marriage was arranged anyway. I bet if he had any say in it, he probably wouldn't have asked you to marry him in the first place." right away he realized what he said and how it sounded. "oops." He saw her struggle for something to say; or something to stair at besides him. "Hey. I didn't mean it like it sounded!" God he's a word cluts. "I-I mean that if he had someone he loved already; he wouldn't have double-crossed-"

"It's fine." She told him. "I understand."

"I don't think you do." He wanted to clear up what he had said so badly. "I didn't mean he wouldn't like you-"

"I know what you mean!" Her voice was sharper now, more vicious. "I understand!" He saw her face grow from angry to soft again. "My parents didn't bother to look into wether or not he already had a girlfriend. They always told me that the only things that would be good out of my marriage, was the money we would be coming into, and the fact that the family I was suppost to be married into, they hated, so their son would get a bad wife. I didn't care what they said because it wasn't new."

* * *

Later on, after dinner, Zuko stopped Kagami in the hallway to talk to her.

"Kagami, can I talk to you for a second?" She nodded and walked with him while they talked. "Can you do me a favor?"

"What?" She sounded bright; and happy.

"Whenever your sister is upset, like she was last night, can you tell me?" She nodded. "Thank you." She smiled and went to go have tea with Iroh as initionally planned.

**

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omfg it's a short chappie! Thank you my reveiwers!**


	3. Chapter 3

_**Chapter 3**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own avatar. I really don't. Seriously. Or do I? (Dr.Evil finger thing) no. No I don't. **_

Kagami sat up late that night; not because her sister was upset; but because she herself had to think. Her sister was having such a hard life, does that mean she would too? All their life, struggling. Would living with Zuko make things better or worse? She layed her head down and found herself being swept away by a sea of dreams, only to be awoken by Amarante. She sighed; hopped out of bed and walked down to Zuko's room.

"Zuko.." She said softly at first. Inching towards his bed in the darkness. "Zuko..Zuko wake up..she's doing it again." He shifted in his sleep. She growled under her breath. "Zuko..!" He turned back over and opened his eyes tiredly. "She's doing it again."

"Doing what..?" He asked tiredly. Half-awake, half-asleep.

"She's crying again." He nodded and rose out of his bed, he was wearing pants (my friend Satan's daughter: Aww..)

"OK." He started to walk out, but stopped. "You can go back to sleep in my bed." She nodded, and crawled into his bed. Snuggling her head in his pillow. He walked across the hall and down to her room. Sure enough; there she was, crying into her pillow. Zuko walked in and lifted her off her pillow and held her. "Calm down Amarante.." But the the tears came forth like horrible rivers of death. "It's OK...It's OK.." But the more he tried to help, the less it seemed to work. He stroked her hair gently, trying to calm her down. He got her to look him straight in the eye. "Let's get some tea or something. OK?" She nodded; wiping away the tears with her wrist. Zuko stood up with her and walked down the hall to the tea room,where she sat at the table while he poured the tea. He set her cup infrount of her and kept one for himself. She sipped at the tea, hiccupping at the attempt. Zuko was sitting beside her, trying to strike a conversation with her. "You don't need to be upset anymore." He told her gently. "Your parents won't hurt you anymore, you won't have to be around your ex anymore, and the only person who you've got from home is your sister and she needs you to be strong." She was quiet, letting him talk. "She's still a little girl. Yet, I haven't seen her cry at all.."

"She's stronger than me. That's why." She sipped softly at her drink.

"That might be true. Or maybe you've suffered worse than she has. You always had to deal with them, but what happened when they got mad at her?"

"I'd let them take it out on me. She was just an infant." He saw her start to choke. "I took their beatings, their yelling, their abuse."

"I can't imagine how horrible it must have been. My father never really stayed around his children, so my sister and I never.. but I ticked him off once and he gave me my scar and banished me. But that was only once.." He placed his hand on her's carefully. "But you don't have to feel like you've got to please us. We aren't going to beat on you. Were going to help you Amarante. No one should have to go through what your going through." She started to cry again, Zuko putting his arm around her and hugging her.

"why are you being so nice to me..?"

"Because, you've been through so much torture, and hardly got any praise or anything. I think your long overdue." She smiled teary-eyed at him, glad to have him on her side. "Uncle and I aren't going to leave you. OK? We aren't going to let you get hurt anymore."

"Thank you.." Her cries became coughs. He patted the top of her head softly.

"Don't cry too much, you'll make yourself sick." He let go of her and they went on with quiet conversation. Until they looked twords the door and saw Kagami, looking frightened. "Come in here." She slowly inched in. "What's wrong?"

"I had a bad dream.." Amarante told her to come over to them, she did and was sat down between them. "Momma and daddy were hurting you again, calling you names I couldn't understand. You were bleeding and.." As she went on to explain, Amarante hugged her.

"It was only a dream..." She was told softly. "Never again..never again will that happen..." Zuko nodded in agreement with her.Kagami nodded slowly; knowing that what her sister was saying was true. "C'mon Kagami, lets go back to sleep. Thank you for the tea Zuko."

"Anytime." He rose to his own feet and walked to his own room. An hour into falling asleep; Kagami woke him again. "is she doing it again?" He saw her shake her head.

"I wanted to talk to you." He nodded, sat up and had her climb onto his bed and sit with him. "Is she going to be like this forever? So mad and upset all the time?"

"Not if we can bring her out of it. This happens to children with long exposure to misery. She's been alive longer than you, so you probably weren't effected." He saw her hang her head slightly.

"What is going to happen...?"

"Nothing too big. Were just going to help her get passed the self-esteem problems she was given, and work from there on." She nodded.

"Are you going to marry her?" Zuko flushed.

"What?"

"Amarante. Are you going to marry her?"

"I-I don't know. P-Probably not." Kagami nodded.

"One more thing."

"OK."

"Can I sleep in here with you?" That was a surprise, when he asked why, she responded: "I'm scared to sleep in my bed tonight; and I don't want to wake up Amarante and have her cry." Zuko was quiet, and then nodded. Moving over so she could sleep beside him. "Thank you." That was a very big problem. If a five year old girl wants to sleep with Zuko and not with her sister when she is scared, helping Amarante is coming not a moment too soon. When she was snuggled in, and told him goodnight, he responded as such and turned the light off.

Amarante woke with a jolt. Another nightmare. When she looked to see if she woke Kagami up; she saw she wasn't there. After she got up and looked around, she found Kagami sleeping beside Zuko, she felt her lips curl into a soft smile as she inched into his room and layed beside them, feeling the warmth of care. A warmth she had never known, her sister cared yes, but the warmth wasn't there, for she was not cared for herself.She felt Zuko's subconscious hand on her bare arm, Amarante closed her eyes and let herself fall asleep to the strange warmth of the night that was so new to her.

**

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omg I know. Zuko is OOC. Don't bug me about that. Did you want fluff or not:D if u did, you got what u wanted! **

**Amarante: True..**

**Zuko: True..**

**Kagami: I want some cookies..**

**Zuko: that was random.**

**Kagami: Yup!**

**Me: woooo! (Chases Zuko around) love love love!**

**Zuko: (Runs for dear life)**


End file.
